The Follicle of Truth

In the midst of a lot of silly speculation about the secrets of my intimidating beauty, the author of a post on Guidespot.com manages to get within shouting distance of something resembling journalism. If you can wade through all sorts of other ridiculous slander (bats, babies and secret documents), this small nugget of truthfullness shows up at the very end:

From the beginning of time, his hair has always acted as his brain. It controls his every thought, action, and physical appearance.

Some people should stop talking about a symbiosis that they couldn't possibly understand.